Apparently ten quid gets me squat!

But if I was to donate a million quid, or even lend the Labour party some dosh I could have bagged myself a fancy shmancy peerage, a seat in the house of Lords and a real say in how the Country is run. (More so than the *yawn* fanciful notion that my badly scrawled 'x' on Election Day means I'm making a difference).

But the thing is I could only spare a tenner, the rest of my preposterously low income being spent on Sky TV, Chicken Tikka Masala, Fags, The Daily Mail, a new Kappa trackie and a couple of pints in the Mutilated Child on Friday night with my equally poorly educated, right wing, racist, sexist, reactionary, lower middle class scumbag friends who all like me support barely repressed yet overwhelming senses of worthlessness and a high degree of sexual dysfunction.

So, apparently ten quid gets me fuck all, not even the title Baron Herge Smith, which would have been more than lovely.

I did donate my ten notes on the QT but I have now rightfully notified the former Whitehall Mandarin Sir Hayden Phillips, so it's only really £13,999,990.00 that can claimed to be secret donations to the Labour party.

Guardian article here

Is anyone really shocked by this? If you back a political party with a huge wedge of dosh you can at least expect some favours in the future, can't you?

Isn't that the point of capitalism? You pay for the good service you get. And as Patty Hewitt Health Sec said on Radio 4's 'Today' show this morning;

'Those people who fund political parties should be seen as "doing a public service for our democracy", not treated with suspicion and disdain'

See - here's the service you get for a generous 'long-term' loan of some dosh you had lying around under one of your least favourite ivory backscratchers - Pat Hewitt and her chums, the nouveau Tories neé socialist defending you to the hilt, despite it all sounding horribly dodgy.

That's what I call great service.

Trouble is, this story really only matters to the intelligentsia, the thinking media and probably some 'professional' types give a shite.

Certainly us little people outside this minority don't really care - all my co-grunts in the chattering daily grind have more important things to think about like diets, pets, babies, weddings, what we had for tea, what we'll have for tea, who Helen in Sales in currently rutting and what we are doing this weekend.

Which in my case is not much, tar very.