burger chute

Monday, March 20, 2006

I know why you don't like it...

but I still love it.

Radio 4 is quite possibly the single greatest cultural achievement of my homeland The United Kingdom. (The 2nd being Bod).

There have been and still are many great programmes aired on Radio 4 each and everyday but Quote Unquote isn't one of them.

This smuggathon has being going for 30 years now. Started by that total tit Nigel Rees, the fella who wrote all those tedious Graffiti books you had as a kid (Atleast I think it's the same tit), Quote Unquote basically has a bunch of smug 'well read' fuckers guessing various quotes from a bunch of arcane and totally tedious books.

Leonard Smugsworth, who wrote; "I've never seen so many squished birds in all my life. Stupid friggin' animals"?

Nigel, I once met the young lady who wrote those elegant words at an event in the North of England, she was quite breath taking in her directness. It is of course Tina Cakesniffer, from the renowned Cakesniffers Beware!

The worst part of this radio show is where each of the sooooooo drenched with middle-classness it hangs off them like the smell of Lynx hangs off a spotty teenage boy and thirty year old programmer, is asked to give their favourite quote on a particularly dull topic.

Tasqalla Jenkins-Hyde, your favourite witty comeback quotes. It is inevitably some dreadfully lame and unoriginal quote - usually by Wilde or the like. Sometimes it's a Shakespeare line and occasionally, if the person is 'youth' enough (under the age of 40) it's from the Simpsons.

Herge Smith, your favourite witty comeback quote please;

Well Nigel, my quote hails from that genre bending 1980's film from the eccentric British director Alexander Cox. Harry Dean Stanton, the very epitome of American Independent Movie cool asks the passing Emilio Estevez, who was never better than in this film, Repo Man;

"Hey Kid, wanna earn 10 bucks?"

To which the acidic Otto, played with brash youthfulness by Estevez responds with hilariously curtness;

"Fuck you, Queer!".

Amen to that Emilio.

1 Comments:

At 11:53 AM, Blogger Sniffy said...

I love Radio 4 just for the fact that it provides so much ammunition for its own slaughter at the hands of people like us. Well, you. All I do is say things like "Radio 4 is a big pile of shite!", at least you're clever about it.

 

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