Just a backache after all.

Well, I've stopped work on my will for the moment, seeing as how I have now solicited a medical opinion on my back issues.

Last night was bad, very bad. My back hurt very much, and no matter which way I lay the pain was intense. I slept very little. In the morning I decided enough was enough and I would endure a trip to the health centre.

Finally got an appointment at the health centre for 11.30am, which is madness seeing as how I called up 30 seconds after the phone lines opened.

Anyway, got down to the health centre and sat amongst all the fat/ elderly/ pregnant/ smelly/ unemployed/ retard/ misc which made me feel;

a. depressed
b. not so ill after all

Doc Ashley saw me at 12.15pm (45 minutes waiting and watching all the fat/ elderly/ pregnant/ smelly/ unemployed/ retard get called in before me, despite turning up 20/ 30 minutes after me).

The Doc immediately diagnosed me as not having anything wrong other than a pulled muscle and an apparent extreme low tolerance for pain - too right mate!

Oh, and he did that classic thing that Doctors now routinely do in the mistaken belief that we will interpret the question as the Doctor working 'with us' to make us better, rather than just acting like God, which they are more used to doing.

"So, what do you think is wrong with you?", Dr Ashley asked.

"Well to be honest Doc, without 5 years of medical training I must admit I don't feel entirely qualified to answer that question. However, I was rather hoping that, what with YOU BEING A FUCKING DOCTOR, you could tell me what was wrong."

To which he replied - "HYPO...!"

Although he dressed it up as 'nothing seriously wrong'.

When I finally got to work told boss I had back cancer, and left it at that.

Back still hurts though, so have self administered;

a. Ibuprofen
b. Deep Heat
c. Dairy Milk (Cadburys)
d. Judge Dredd comics from the attic (comfort reading)
e. Hour 14 season 5 of 24

I just hope I'm strong enough to make it through the night.